I would appreciate it if you decided to stick to a schedule instead of randomly coming and going like you please. I buy you very expensive pads and tampons to keep you happy and from causing too much havoc so at least you could do something for me for a change!
However, I must thank you for being light and not too painful. You've never really caused me a huge amount of pain and I thank you for that as I would have been very annoyed if you decided to pain me. You're also pretty consistently light which means I don't have to worry too much.
Soooo, what I'm taking away from this conversation is that you don't think I'm that bad after all? Surely you've heard about your friends' periods and how challenging they can be? I'd say you've got it good. Do you think it's a coincidence that you buy me nice stuff and I don't arrive like a crimson tidal wave? Mmmhmmm, I should think not.
Now about my arrival, nobody is perfect. I'm coordinating a lot of things on my end and sometimes things don't align. Things which can be influenced by you, I may add. So we don't get frustrated with one another and because I like what we have going (okay really I like the expensive stuff you buy me), why don't you grab an app that lets you log info from the entire month, like how much you're sleeping, what you're eating, etc.... I think this will help you get more in sync with me. And I do enough work already, so this is on you.
Keep buying me nice things.
I guess I'm one of the lucky girls that whenever you come around I don't get any cramps. I never have to worry about you never coming, but I do appreciate it when you don't come on some months.
Periods get a bum rap sometimes, don’t you think? I mean look at me, I’m the generous and thoughtful type ... can you say no cramps?
I do like to mix it up once in a while. So just to be clear, occasionally I may throw in some cramps or tears over silly things. Don’t sweat that, okay? That’s just me wanting attention.
Dear My Period,
The fact that I don't know when you come gets me mad but I appreciate that you help me know that I'm coming an adult and that I'm prepared to experience the adult life and even tho you give me a day to feel pain knowing that your here I don't appreciate that you don't ask for my permission but thank you for making me an adult and making me mature
Dear New Womanhood,
Welcome sister, so glad you made it! Yes, I can be a touch unpredictable, and for that action I truly apologize. We are new in this relationship and will spend some time getting to know each other over the months and years.
There will be a time of newness, a time of normalcy, and then a time of craziness. All of which should never be taken personally, should always be comfortable to chat about with friends and physicians, as this thing called Period is not taboo!
Always here for you,
All I can say is that I’ve changed my opinion on you. I used to hate you but part of me thinks why should I?! It is annoying that you’re here but only because I get really bad cramps and PMS! Have any tips for dealing with them?? I’m also too scared to tell my boyfriend because I’m quite young- I’m 12. And I’m not sure what he will think but he must get a bit curious if I’m ill every month at about the same time. Please give advice for a young girl dealing with her period.
Thanks for spoiling my new Calvin kleins this morning!
Well I'm glad we've got the not hating me part figured out. Now ways for dealing with my arrival, hmmm you're in luck because I'm feeling all the love between us. It's quite simple really -exercising, limiting caffeine, and getting enough sleep can help. Did you know that during exercise your body releases endorphins, which act as natural painkillers? I heard that a few drops of basil, rosemary, and marjoram essential oil mixed with aloe vera and rubbed into the belly slowly, can help too. As for PMS, well it's PMS.
Whoa, I'm not one to give advice about boys, periods are my thing. Hopefully you have a solid older female in your life that you can talk with? And definitely talk your girl friends about all things period.
Sorry about the jeans.
I feel bad for treating you so horribly lately. I have talked about you as a burden not a healthy part of becoming a woman. I am sorry for not realizing how great you are.
Now that’s what I’m talking about sister. Thank you.
Your loyal companion,
Even though you give me camps that make me feel like someone is stabbing me in my uterus, thank you for not being as bad as some others. We have a long journey ahead of us and I know you’ll be there whenever I need you the least
Why thank you for understanding me! Hugs to you honey.
I know I can be a tad impolite, have poor timing, bring on pain amongst many other “emotions” but hey, I like to be heard. Your first challenge is succumbing to the fact that you need to understand me. Next challenge? Learn how to work me over to work my best for you. A few tips...this includes nutrition, exercise and you time.
Thanks for not hurting me all that much. But f&*k you ever since the day I got you because honestly, you've ruined so many good clothes.
Truly darling I’ve been doing you a favor ruining some of your clothes. If I can’t be honest with you, who can?
You kinda suck sometimes but for the most part your convenient. I really don’t need you to tell me I’m not pregnant like I know but thanks for not making me cramp too bad and not always showing up at the most inconvenient times
Eh- Your not so Bad
Dear Not so Bad,
I’m glad to hear that you think for the most part I’m convenient. But let’s get this straight, I’m more than a pregnancy test. Jeez. I’m an intricately designed cycle, a poetic process if you will, gracefully dancing to a song of rejuvenation.
While I’m happy I suck “only sometimes” I’d really appreciate more recognition for everything I do for you. I can be patient because I want your unwavering respect. But don’t make me wait too long, I can get crabby. And a crabby period is, well as you can imagine, quite terrifying.
First of all, Thank you. Thank you because although you make me tired, achey, have breakouts and often have accidents in such awkward places, you show me how strong I am.
You teach me to give myself that extra bit of self care, you make me so aware of my delicate yet so strong body. You teach me to sit down and read a book, to let myself heal, to put a face mask on, do my hair nice for work. Because you make me realize that I can do anything I want while bleeding!
And at the end of the day I'm not dying, I may feel like it and my hormones may make me cry and get angry but that fiery passion of emotions makes me realize just how purely human I am.
My body has the power to hold and grow a whole human life and that is beautiful.
I am not perfect and I never will be. But the struggle I face with my period allows me to understand and work with my body. So Period, Thank you for dealing with all my rages and sad moments I love and hate you.
I think I love you! I'm validated and proud.
F U, I am well aware how very important you are for my body's reproduction and hormones. I, however, would truly appreciate you keeping that sh***y attitude and cramps to yourself. Since I have been 14 you have come monthly making me debilitated for a day sometimes two. I heard having kids makes you friendlier hahaha joke was on me, you just got more angry and forceful. Why cant we just be friends?
One Moody Female
I’m willing to work on our friendship if you are. What’s a little power struggle anyway, now that you’ve recognized who’s boss (me!), I’m willing to play nice(r).
Let’s start by making sure you’re doing right by me: eating well, exercising, and getting sleep. I’m more diplomatic when nurtured. Once you get that all lined up, let the negotiations (aka friendship building) begin.