Monthly Dear Period Story
Dear Period,
Just wanted to let you know you suck!
Love,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Oh to the contrary my dear - I am amazing, a powerful crimson tide. Strong and beautiful.
So what's got you so worked up? A few panties ruined? Cramps? Back ache? Please, that's nothing in comparison to what I do for you each month - delicately balancing your hormones, I'm a fined tuned wonder. So slow down with the slander, I don't suck. And if you continue to think that I suck, well let's just say I don't think making me angry is a good idea.
Your pal,
Period
A few choice stories from the Story Series
DP #0016
Dear Period,
8th grade graduation party, we were all outside celebrating and C.W. and I decided to climb the fence of the neighboring park district pool, and jump in fully clothed. The entire class promptly followed us. While sitting in a room waiting for our punishment I got my period in soaking wet white shorts.
Still Embarrassed.
Dear Still Embarrassed,
I think you should be grateful. This is a life lesson ... don't wear white shorts. Everyone who wears white shorts should be punished.
Your Period Fashionista
DP #0007
Dear Period,
Thank you for making me the woman I am today. I hate you. I appreciate the bigger boobs. Eat that sandwich!
T. A.
Dear T.A.,
You are oh so welcome for the bigger boobs shuga. Here to help monthly until the day I die.
Ha, ha, ha
Period
DP #0003
Dear Period,
That post stress that you are providing the last two nights that consist of sweating in bed while my mind debates "hmmm maybe I should've worn a pad" or better yet "maybe it isn't over" is simply just wrong. Maybe I should follow in the footsteps of a new leader and just deny?
Cleavage and elbow sweat
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
As in all long term relationships, you should realize that stress is part of the game. However, I never thought you would be so low as to compare the dynamics of our relationship to the new president. That's just dirty...I may retaliate next month, just sayin'
Love,
Period