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Monthly Dear Period Story

Dear Period,

I hate you...throwback to that time you came while I was on a plane to Turkey? WTF who does that? And you’re lucky I had a liner with me which was barely enough to last an hour and I had 3 hours left, because I honestly could have tried to break my own uterus in the plane toilets... I’m not joking. So anyway, I just think you should go away?

Bye,

Anonymous

 

Dear Traveler,

Ever hear of the mile high club? No, not that club ... I’m talking about the other one, when you get your period while flying? If I remember correctly, international flights give you elite status. I’m not sure how you missed that?

It wasn’t easy timing my arrival perfectly to get you into that club you know. And what do I get from you “I just think you should go away.”, ouch. How about some love?

Period


 

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 A few choice stories from The Series

DP #0016

Dear Period,

8th grade graduation party, we were all outside celebrating and C.W. and I decided to climb the fence of the neighboring park district pool, and jump in fully clothed. The entire class promptly followed us. While sitting in a room waiting for our punishment I got my period in soaking wet white shorts.

Still Embarrassed.

Dear Still Embarrassed,

I think you should be grateful.  This is a life lesson ... don't wear white shorts. Everyone who wears white shorts should be punished.

Your Period Fashionista

 

DP #0007

Dear Period,

Thank you for making me the woman I am today.  I hate you.  I appreciate the bigger boobs.  Eat that sandwich!

T. A.

Dear T.A.,

You are oh so welcome for the bigger boobs shuga.  Here to help monthly until the day I die.

Ha, ha, ha

Period

DP #0003

Dear Period,

That post stress that you are providing the last two nights that consist of sweating in bed while my mind debates "hmmm maybe I should've worn a pad" or better yet "maybe it isn't over" is simply just wrong.  Maybe I should follow in the footsteps of a new leader and just deny?

Cleavage and elbow sweat

Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous,

As in all long term relationships, you should realize that stress is part of the game.  However, I never thought you would be so low as to compare the dynamics of our relationship to the new president.  That's just dirty...I may retaliate next month, just sayin'

Love,

Period